Universal joke

So, I reckon the universe had a bad case of comedy tourettes when it decided I should join planet Earth...  I mean some days I don't even think I'm human let alone able to fit in and just BE.

Most people lurve being who they are and going places, meeting people, doing new things, experiencing highs and lows, laughing, eating, loving, playing, doing... you get the picture?

I barely know if I can make it through half a day without crying or hurting or making somebody else cry or hurt.

More and more I find myself wanting to be still and peaceful. So my brain doesn't race and my thoughts aren't hurtling about at light speed, but it is such an unattainable goal that I give up and let the cold, world weary, negative voice that is my internal dialogue just sit there and nag at me about how useless I am compared to everyone else or how fat I am or stupid I am or how ugly I am or disgusting I am.... Where as everyone else is just peachy.

And I just keep listening to it.

Soooo

Carrie aka CK



Don Corleone aka Me



Sooooo, teenagers. Not only don't they have any adventure they also put your back up quite a bit.

Take for example my CK, she's heavily into this Carrie look. You know the evil stare from said girl of said film. CK you have to use a dictionary instead of your ipod - cue Carrie stare... CK says " but Mum, I really wanted to wrap that present for girly girl" me - " well CK you could have done it this morning instead of watching Fame or what ever programme..." cue Carrie stare.... Stop messing with the candles, making wax balls on the end of dead matches while sat on the highly combustible settee, cue Carrie stare.

If I wake up drenched in pigs blood I will not be surprised at all.

Although things might then take a turn for the worse as I will take the lead role in a likkle ol' film known as the Godfather - badda bing badda boom. Lets see how Carrie stands up to Vito and Michael Corleone. Supernatural or not - that Carrie is in for it.

Boarding schools should be free to people who blog.

Dead Duck

So obviously the picture is of a live duck... But today I saw a dead duck and it wasn't floating in a pond... It was near a tree, dead. And CK wouldn't take a photo of it on her phone so you'll never know what a real dead duck looks like... unless you manage to find one - then you'll know.

I am tired and weary. Wanting to run away to be a carny as the only place I feel comfortable in my own house is in the kitchen and that's just begging for food to be cooked isn't it.

I can't believe CK didn't want to do a comic strip about who was behind the fiendish death of the errant duck... We were all poised for CSI quackers but NOOOO.

Teenagers, no sense of adventure.

Haiku Monday

bicycles gallop
warmly, pebble speaks, ringing
cheerfully, dancing

Haiku Monday

Snow falling gently
Really wet and horrible
Where's my M P 3

Blogging comments

Wow, I caused waves with someone after I made a comment about someone's comment on a blog I read pretty much daily...
Comment boxes are, I think, not an easy thing to use effectively. All you see are the written words with no level of intonation or body language. Hmmm, difficult.
The blog in question is one that I feel some common ground with as the blogger has similar issues and trials and tribulations ( albeit in another country, my husbands home land). Not common ground to do with the physical problems of living in a country where if there is no milk that week - there is no milk that week ( experienced that for a short while though, in another country!!) but the weight of being a wife, mother, friend, home schooler, neighbour.. general human being really!

I am who I am- as is the other person, who maybe just needed to be a little more eloquent in her writing so as to convey the true meaning of the words in her comment (not that I am a brilliant writer by any means..)

Plus, I'd just found out that my friends pregnancy (see previous post) was coming to a bitter end when I wrote the comment.

By the way, I did call her (the commenter) stoopid and poopy.

Ah well, we were easy targets for each other. Although I think she will probably bear me more ill will than I her, but I am going to move on and take with me the fact that the person whose blog the negative seeming comment was on originally, has seen that so many people feel that she is a person worth cherishing and even though things ARE difficult for her, they are supportive of her journey and not critical of it, letting her blog be an outlet for her joys and sorrows.

Ciao xx

5 Things

Five things that have happened over last few days,

1. Shitty things have happened, my friend lost her baby. Actually it's worse than that - the pregnancy wasn't progressing so now they are having to wait for a miscarriage. Plus this was her first try at IVF after being told she had a ridiculously low chance of becoming pregnant EVER and had spent the last year trying to do everything possible to improve her chances of sustaining a pregnancy. She is desperate to be a mum and is the kind of person who deserves to be one. A cyber friends Grandma passed away and it has crushed him. And stuff, just plain ol' shitty stuff.

2. I have to start my art journal again....

3. I wanted to do this cool blog interview thing but have been so bummed out by recent events I couldn't get my head round it.

4. Stealth's reading age has developed by about 6 years over the space of maybe 3 weeks due to some good science fiction books. God bless ya Mr Eddings and all who sail in ya!

5. I have used turnip in my cooking twice, in one week... wow - that's a whole lot of turnip.

6. Most Haunted live has been on all week and I have let the kids stay up late to watch it cos I am obviously one bad Mother...

7. The woman who comes to guide the kids in their art endeavours upsets me sometimes as she tries to make any progress Stealth has all about her. She sees him for 2 hrs a week FFS and then assumes it's her magical pixie dust that brings him on in leaps and bounds - not anything me or Carnelian Dude have done for the other 166 hrs since she last saw him..

8. I am worried that by composting my cantaloupe seeds I am going to open the lid one day and see thousands of baby melons in my compost bin and then feel obliged to try and cultivate them. Responsibility guys, it is a heavy burden.

Pants, that's 8 things.....