Hmmm

Sometimes it just feels crap, I wake up with the knowledge that on that particular day I will feel the responsibility of being perfect. The perfect wife, the perfect Mum, perfect education facilitator, perfect dog trainer, perfect house keeper, perfect writer of Scottish words, perfect laundry lady, perfect cook,cleaner and bottle washer, perfect neighbour and let's not forget perfect mind reader.

Humph, I iz tired.

This morning as I was laying in bed I heard the distant rumble of a bin lorry coming to collect the rubbish in our green bins ( bins designed only for garden waste such as twigs, grass cuttings etc..). At that very instant I started to cry because I forgot to check yesterday if it was collection day today so that I could put out our neighbours bin out. Ours didn't need to go out though!! I am some kind of crazy, getting so strung out about taking on the responsibility of someone else's stuff just to make their life easier..

So I lay there with tears for a little while debating if it would be possible just to stay in bed where I was warm and un-responsible for life's stuff. Where Carnelian Dudes arm hugged me tightly to him so that there wasn't even a hairs breadth between us even though he was asleep and didn't know I was crying and was really in need of that hug.

But I got up and outta bed knowing that today I will probably be less than perfect and this will make me insane and I'll be all mean and bad tempered and waspish.

I think I need to find a surfer, one of the stereotypical surfer dudes who don't care about anything except the ocean and is so laid back they are horizontal. This surfer can be my mentor and teach me to accept life- just as it's thrown at me, warts an' all. And I'll be all chillaxed and not care that my dog is a pirate or that the kids are marginally in need of a REAL teacher or that it is actually sucking the life out of me by trying to make everyone's life so perfect that they won't hate me and judge me...

Pity I don't live near the surf...