Wednesday 28 January 2009

Universal joke


So, I reckon the universe had a bad case of comedy tourettes when it decided I should join planet Earth...  I mean some days I don't even think I'm human let alone able to fit in and just BE.
Most people lurve being who they are and going places, meeting people, doing new things, experiencing highs and lows, laughing, eating, loving, playing, doing... you get the picture?

I barely know if I can make it through half a day without crying or hurting or making somebody else cry or hurt.

More and more I find myself wanting to be still and peaceful. So my brain doesn't race and my thoughts aren't hurtling about at light speed, but it is such an unattainable goal that I give up and let the cold, world weary, negative voice that is my internal dialogue just sit there and nag at me about how useless I am compared to everyone else or how fat I am or stupid I am or how ugly I am or disgusting I am.... Where as everyone else is just peachy.

And I just keep listening to it.

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